I'm not here to tell you you have to date a Trans person, I'm not here to tell you you have to find non-binary people attractive, I'm not even here to detail the many terrors and trials these people have suffered through. I'm simply here to pose some questions.
As I go through the world, I find the best questions to ask are:
"Is this my business?"
"If yes, does it effect me?"
"If yes, what should I do about it?"
And what I've found, pretty consistently, is that people identifying as a woman despite being born male, or that people identifying as genderless, really means very little. It isn't my business what they identify as, and it certainly doesn't effect me in any way. Hell, I've dated someone who is genderless and uses they/them pronouns, and it wasn't that hard. I liked them, and they liked me, and it turns out slightly modifying your vocabulary to accomodate another human being that you care about isn't that hard. At the end of the day, if someone pays their taxes, takes care of their own business, and does their best to help other people, everything else doesn't matter all that much. I just genuinely don't get why this is such a big issue for people who think logically.
I get why bigotry happens, people wanna feel better than other people, and I get that people are afraid of this issue of gender because they don't understand it, but even outside of that people act as if this matters. When the bills allowing trans people to use the bathroom they identified with came out, people acted as if this was gonna create a surge in sex crimes. As if the type of people committing sex crimes were letting little things like gender signs on bathrooms stop them, or as if someone would endure months of internal pain and external ridicule in their attempt to be who they truly believed they were, just so they could pee next to someone of a different sex than them. It simply doesn't hold up to logic.
So why do we care, as logical people. Some may ask "well what if my son turns out to be trans?" Well then you keep loving them because that's the right thing to do, why would you even for a second consider not loving them for something so stupid. I'd not love my child if they didn't like Star Wars, but what they identify as really doesn't matter or concern me. Others may pretend that allowing people to identify with what they want will lead to some sort of moral societal decay, and if by decay they mean more people being happy then yes, yes it will (we act like society is getting worse even though as time goes on great stuff like getting rid of slavery and letting women drive happens).
It simply doesn't hold up to scrutiny. You wouldn't try to persecute someone just because they liked Jason Derulo's music, even though you should because those people have terrible taste. So why is this form of identity, one that isn't tied to terrible musical choices, and effects very few people, something we need to talk about?
I really agree with your opinion on this: I have always been one to say "Live your life, and I'll live mine". That is one of the things that would irritate me so much when it comes to this conversation; people have it in their heads that the way that people identify themselves affects their lives, and it simply isn't true. If someone who has male genatalia but identifies as a female uses the women's resterooms, that does not affect you. There are stalls, so you aren't going to see anything, so calm down. But, to answer your question, it is important to have these conversations about gender identity because it wasn't culturally acceptable before, so kids need to have the access to this information to help explain how they are feeling. We also need to educate others who don't understand, and who we can help become more accepting to a growing population of people who identify as non-binary/gender queer. I agree that specific cases shouldn't have a big deal made about them, but I do think everyone is here for a reason, and that accepting people are here to help not only people struggling with their identity but to help those who scrutinize against the struggling to understand which could in turn make them more accepting. Once again, I understand everyone has their beliefs, and I can't change everyone's mind, or educate everyone, but I hope that sharing my cisgender opinion on this issue will open some people's eyes that you can be an ally, even if you don't have the same feelings or fully understand what someone is going through, and maybe show someone who can't explain their feelings that their are people out there who understand and support them.
I think gender non-binary as an issue alone, but it does come with a lot baggage with it. Many many times reading about concepts of what is gender non-binary it is always followed by the words like "Privilege, Allies, Trigger warnings and so on" That is now has reputation of being part of that movement. Which to many right now is step to far in a direction many don't want to go.
I think gender non-binary issue has become a bit of line in the sand for people, which is utterly unfair to those who feel that they have valid non-binary identity but it does beg the question? Where do we draw the line? is their a line, does there need to be a line? No these are all valid questions that I think need to discussed and put under analysis. Many see the gender non-binary types associated with Anti Jordan Peterson stuff, people screaming that their feelings are more important than science or debate. Which is understandable, but when its looked at from afar. what you are left with is this view of people saying, I am upset, therefore I am going throw a temper tantrum and scream and shut until I get my way. This is what the perception is to many on the outside. Quite frankly there is a part of that in their, this denying that black people can be racist to white people due power dynamics and so on. It just makes the issue muddier and muddier and lost in the murky water of oppression Olympics.
I think the issue is that, there seems to have been this movement by some away from the scientific method, and a movement towards, my evidence is my own emotions and how a feel. I think what many in academic world are worried about is that this is no being taken seriously in some academic circles. I think there is massive confusion between Professors and Academics being worried about the erosion of the Scientific method and them trying to deny anyone's feelings or emotions. I think many in that world are fearful that now something that had been standing for hundreds of years, been refined, over and over is now being dismantled by the SJW types, who want say it does not matter how many studies or how much evidence you show us. We are going to ignore it and lay siege to your world. They demand these people who have send their entire life devoting themselves to Science, to just give it up on basis that their feeling have been hurt or their gender expression has been incorrectly addressed.
I think to many scientists and academics, it feels the Spanish Inquisition has arrived and they are not listening to any reason or view point they can understand. One biggest problems is that non of the evidence that these types use has any real strong backing from scientific community.
So when it comes to Non-binary issues, this where it hits the line in the sand. There is little backing scientifically as of yet for non-binary people and the medical community is trying to do the researching, but they are being attacked by the same types saying they are gate keepers. So it has because a huge issue because in truth Non-binary people are trying force their way through the door, demanding to be accepted while most Cis people are still trying to get around to idea of binary Transgender issues. Really what we are seeing is people just being fed up with being forced to accept something without at least being given the time to understand it, and sink it. It sad that its the case, but the world is like a big boat and it takes time to turn and running into captains cabin and screaming and stamping your feet like a child is really not helping.
Excuse my grammar and spelling i am dyslexic and sometimes miss words out or spell them wrong.
Truthfully, I think the idea of a person not having a gender is hard for many to grasp, and it's the frustration and lack of understanding that prevents acceptance. Personally, while I respect people that choose not to identify as either gender, I don't understand. I sat in once on an informational meeting led by genderqueer people, and it felt like they were protesting gender norms and stereotypes or maybe just labels. I came into the meeting with an open mind and left angry. My perspective was "I don't like stereotypes either but I'm not denying that I'm female; it's just who I am". I've reflected a lot on this subject since then and I suppose that's just it. It's a part of who I am, but it isn't part of who they are. I don't know what makes me feel female, but saying it doesn't feel wrong to me. I've come to realize that I don't need to understand; I (and likely others who don't feel out of place with a gender label) probably won't ever.
In thinking it through, I've thought of a situation I feel to be synonymous. I have sensory overload issues which cause me to become very anxious in crowds. This is something my mom often gets angry with me about because it hinders the restaurants we go to and the activities we do. She will never understand how hard it is for me at parties, packed concerts, or simply walking around campus. I don't need her to though. I just need her to understand what I need to feel comfortable living my life. To me, it is the same with genderqueer people. They don't need me, or the general public, to understand (though it'd be nice). They just need us to understand that living without a gender label is what will make them comfortable. I believe that everyone deserves to be comfortable in their own skin and to be acknowledged as who they are.